A Lack of Pants
by Typing Typhoon
Summary: A mysterious voice points out Bowser's obvious lack of pants, then everything goes down hill from there... Will Bowser ever find the right pair of pants? Oneshot. Please Review!


**A Lack of Pants**

Kirby, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, and Bowser were sitting outside in the lawn at Smash Mansion.

Kirby was eating, Jigglypuff was sleeping, Pikachu was playing ping-pong, and Bowser was scorching the behind of some random cat.

All was well, until...

"Hey you, yeah, you guys!" A sly, bodiless voice said.

"Whaddya want!" Bowser growled, looking in the direction of the corpseless voice.

"Did you ever realize that your naked..." The voice said slyly, addressing Bowser's obvious lack of pants.

"Shut Hel- whaaat!" Bowser stammered, the lack of a witty retort to that statement unsettled him.

"Come on, you know its true, don't you get cold in the Winter?" The voice prodded.

"Well now that you brought it up, I am a little chilly." Kirby admitted, shivering.

"Aren't you ashamed?" The voice asked evilly.

Kirby looked around, there were people all around him, his face flushed with embarrassment.

" Come on! Your in public! Pull yourself together!" The voice sneered.

Jigglypuff backed away slowly...

Pikachu raced back to his room.

Kirby's face was as red as his shoes.

"Eureka! Princess Peach won't go out with me because I'm pantsless!" Bowser stated triumphantly.

The voice smiled, the whole group was unsettled, he did his job well.

Master Hand was sorting through his documents when someone knocked on the door.

"Come in." He said wearily.

The door opened slightly...

"What's wrong with you!" Some unknown voice said.

"Look, I know you were shocked when you realized Samus was a girl, but what was I supposed to do about it?" He asked aggressively.

"OMG! Samus is a girl?" The voice asked, genuinely shocked.

"That was not my point though, did you know that some of your game characters fight in the nude?" The voice hissed.

"What, that's preposterous!" Master Hand shouted.

"What about a certain Kirby, what about Pikachu or Bowser?" The voice cackled.

"That's just not right!" Master Hand shouted.

"Bowser, Pikachu, Kirby, Jigglypuff! Up to my office right now!" Master Hand bellowed.

A few minutes later Bowser, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, and Kirby walked into the room, shivering.

"What's up with you?" Master Hand asked.

"Well, we never realized how cold it was until we saw that we had no sweaters." Kirby said.

"Well sweaters ain't the only thing your lacking." Master Hand said, gesturing at their waists.

" I want all of you fully dressed by tonight or your fired!" Master Hand bellowed savagely, shooing them out of his office.

_At Kholes..._

"Do you know what size you are Mister Bowser?" A service woman asked.

"No, I generally don't wear pants." Bowser explained, cramped between the small isles.

"Oooooooooooookay... does this fit you?" She asked uncertainly, obviously unaware of Bowsers lack of pants.

Bowser tried it on, the waist fit, but the pant legs went far past his stubby feet.

"How about this one?" She said, handing him another pair of pants...

The shorts wouldn't go up past his tail.

What brand of jeans do you normally wear?" She asked bravely.

"I've never worn pants in my life! Don't you get it!" Bowser snapped, exhailing flames as he spoke.

She scurried at the sound of his voice.

Bowser slapped his head...

_Now what..._

After 3 hours of unsuccessful tries, Bowser finally found a pair of pants.

He met up with Pikachu and Kirby at Taco Bell.

"Any luck?" Bowser said from across the booth.

"You bet!" Kirby said, Pikachu nodded in agreement. They were both in overalls.

Jigglypuff put in their orders.

I'm sorry, no shirt, no shoes, no service." The clerk said, gesturing at Jigglypuffs lack of shirt.

"Now we need shirts!" Bowser moaned, slapping his hand to his head.

They moodily made their way back home.

"What's up with you guys?" Meowth asked.

"We're completely under dressed and its ruining our lives!" Jigglypuff shrieked dramatically.

"You dopes! You guys are are animals, you don't need clothes. We're not even technically naked!" Meowth said.

"Really?" Bowser said.

"Really." Meowth reassured him.

_Back at Smash Mansion._

Bowser, and the rest of the group were playing ping-pong, pantsless.

"Hey! Don't you guys care that your naked?" The voice asked evilly.

"Yeah Voice? Well let's see your pants!" Bowser demanded.

"I uh-erm-ug-uh... I gotta go!" The voice said, fleeing.

Meanwhile King Dedede, Wario, and Snorlax were happily munching on a basket of wings when-

"Hey you! Yeah, you!" A mysterious voice beckoned.

"Yeah, Waddya want! Wario asked rudely.

"Did you know you're all very, very, fat." The voice said.

"Shut the Hel-Whaaa?" Wario asked, completely nonplussed.

"I mean look at you, your flab knows no bounds does it?" The voice sneered evilly...

**I hope you liked the story! Please review!**


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